Harsh self-talk holds you back from healing.
There’s a quiet battle taking place inside many of us, a constant push and pull between criticism and kindness. One voice tells you you’re not good enough, reminds you of your flaws, and keeps repeating every mistake you’ve made. This is your inner critic. The other voice softer, but deeper, encourages you to keep going, to embrace yourself with gentleness and to see yourself through the lens of mercy. This is your inner compassion.
We are often so used to the first voice that we don’t even recognise how deeply it influences our emotional, mental, and even spiritual wellbeing. But the truth is, harsh self-talk doesn’t push you to grow, it holds you back from healing.
If you’ve ever worked with, or followed the teachings of Uzma Naqvi a holistic transformational life coach and spiritual guide you’ll know that one of her central teachings is this:
“Healing happens when we soften the inner dialogue.”
That softening is not a weakness. It is power. It is reclaiming your inner peace through faith, through divine remembrance, and through self-compassion. The more you learn to replace criticism with kindness, the more your heart aligns with your soul’s true purpose and that’s where real transformation begins.
Understanding the Inner Critic
The inner critic is the internal voice that shames, blames, and belittles. It often sounds like:
- “Why am I always failing?”
- “I’m not worthy of love or success.”
- “Everyone else is doing better than me.”
- “Allah must be angry with me.”
These thoughts are not your truth, they are echoes. Echoes of past conditioning, painful experiences, societal expectations, and spiritual misunderstanding. Somewhere along the way, we began to confuse self-improvement with self-punishment.
But in Islam, even when we fall, we are not asked to shame ourselves, we are asked to return to Allah. The inner critic keeps you stuck in guilt. But Allah says:
“Do not despair of the mercy of Allah.” (Qur’an 39:53)
If Allah Himself tells you that there is hope that you are redeemable, loveable, and forgivable who is your inner critic to argue?
Why Negative Self-Talk Blocks Healing
The human mind absorbs repetition. If you keep telling yourself that you are not enough, your subconscious will begin to accept it as truth even if it’s a lie. This internal narrative slowly affects your:
- Confidence
- Decision-making
- Relationships
- Faith
- Purpose
Harsh self-talk is a form of internal violence. It’s like wounding yourself with your own words and then wondering why you can’t heal.
- You cannot bully yourself into growth.
- You cannot shame yourself into faith.
- You cannot guilt yourself into peace.
Inner Compassion: A Divine Practice
So how do we break free? The answer lies in inner compassion.
Inner compassion is not about denying your mistakes, it’s about responding to them with Rahma (mercy), the same way Allah responds to you when you turn to Him sincerely.
Uzma Naqvi’s teachings focus deeply on healing through self-acceptance, especially in a spiritual context. She explains that compassion is not just emotional, it’s spiritual obedience. When you hold yourself with mercy, you mirror the Divine attribute of Ar-Rahman the Most Compassionate.
Just like we are encouraged to show mercy to others, we are also meant to show it to ourselves.
Imagine this:
When you miss a prayer, does your inner voice scream, “You’re useless you’ll never be close to Allah”?
Or does it say, “I slipped, but I will return. Allah’s door is always open”?
The second voice reflects spiritual compassion, the first, spiritual self-abuse.
Connection with Allah Through Healing
Healing isn’t just emotional. It’s spiritual. Many women who come to Uzma Naqvi’s programmes whether Healing Hearts or The Universe Within You speak of how their healing journey brought them closer to Allah.
Here’s how:
1. Letting Go of Shame
Shame says, “I am bad.” Islam teaches us to say, “I have sinned, but I am not the sin.” This shift from identity-based guilt to action-based awareness creates space for tawbah (repentance) and return.
2. Practicing Self-Forgiveness
You ask Allah for forgiveness, but do you forgive yourself? Healing requires that you meet yourself where you are with flaws, struggles, and imperfections and still choose to try again.
3. Trusting in Divine Timing
You may not be where you want to be spiritually or emotionally, but healing teaches you sabr (patience). That Allah’s plan unfolds with wisdom. That even your breakdowns can become breakthroughs.
4. Remembering Your Worth in Allah’s Eyes
You are a soul before you are a body. You are not defined by your mistakes, your trauma, or your past. Allah sees your efforts. The more you learn to see yourself through His mercy, the more you free yourself from the prison of harshness.
Steps to Cultivate Self-Compassion
Here’s how to begin your inner shift:
1. Speak Like a Friend
When you’re feeling low, speak to yourself the way you would comfort someone you love. Would you call them worthless? Or would you remind them of their strength?
2. Replace Judgement with Curiosity
Instead of “Why am I like this?”, ask “What do I need at this moment?” This question shifts your mindset from blame to understanding.
3. Reconnect with the Divine
Start your day with quiet dhikr or reflective journaling. Speak to Allah honestly not formally. Tell Him your fears, ask Him to soften your heart, and invite Him into your healing process.
4. Limit Comparisons
Social media often amplifies the inner critic. Take breaks. Focus on your own journey. Healing is not a race, it’s a return.
5. Join Healing Spaces
Find communities that nurture growth with faith, not fear. Coaches like Uzma Naqvi have built safe spaces where women can rise spiritually and emotionally without shame.
Final Thoughts: Choose Your Voice
You will hear both voices.
The one that says, “You’re not enough.”
And the one that says, “You are healing, and healing is enough.”
Which one will you feed?
Allah doesn’t expect perfection, He asks for effort, hope, and trust.
Be gentle with yourself. Let your inner voice become your inner home a place of peace, not punishment. Because the journey back to yourself…
Is the journey back to Him.
